proof

A flickr friend from Amsterdam wrote this in comment to my photo proof
"Awww. And, this is what I am curious after, what did you respond? Sometimes I don't know what to answer, I think sometimes I explain too much like when I want to reassure my child something is not real."


And my quick response:
"i think it is SO sweet when he says things like this. i really think his imaginative mind is absolutely part of my son's core being. and i also think we all form our own understandings of reality, which change over time given our life experiences. if he asks me and wants to know what i think, i tell him. for example he has asked me if i believe that fairies exist. my answers have been something like this: "i have never seen a fairy in real life. i have heard many stories and seen many drawing and movies. and i know that some people say that they have seen fairies. i want to believe that they exist, but i haven't ever seen any proof. i'd love to see a fairy!" he did not ask me if this was proof. he said it was. so for him, it is the proof he needs at this time. i smiled and said, "wow! you found fairy wings?" and now i call them fairy wings when i find them too. i would not hesitate to share what i know about cicadas, if he asked me to confirm this proof. i would say, "i have seen these wings on bugs called cicadas. hear that buzzing sound? cicadas make that sound." and continue on finding pictures, looking for them outside, etc. I try to gauge what seems to be his main interest at the moment...imagination or research and go as far as he seems to show continued interest...you've inspired me to think and write about this on my blog. maybe by the end of the weekend i'll have a more thoughtful answer for you heleen."


Well, this weekend started off with a fun bang (Bowie spent the night with my folks and Chris and I did the live music loop of Red7 to Parish then after-partied till dawn) and kept to a nice slow family pace the following days (as we old parents recovered). So the previous response is as thoughtful of an answer as I've come up with yet, summed up something like this: Believing that Bowie doesn't need me to define the world for him, trusting that his experiences will create his understanding of reality, being available and authentic in my responses when he does ask what I think, and responding to his vibe by rushing forth when he is ready to research and listening with an open heart when he is enjoying his imagination. I finish saying that I do not have a script of things to say. I know that what feels authentic to me will not always be a match with what others feel is an authentic response for themselves.