Peace Loving Mama and the Sword

another excerpt from my mama friends buddy group. this is about hitting.

"it really takes everything i have to react in a sane way (and mostly i mean internally). the unconditional parenting has just been invaluable to me lately. i don't always succeed at responding in a loving, kind, centered place immediately. sometimes i hold him too tight. sometimes i yell, my voice much deeper and louder than i'd wish. sometimes, i am just paralyzed by sadness and fear. but the process of checking myself, making sure i ask how i look and feel to him at that time when he needs me, is coming to me more and more quickly. today bowie told me...god, my stomache just turns to stone as i think of it, "i want guns, knives, swords, and spears to hurt and kill people." shocking. totally shocking. how he has picked up on the power of these objects in the very few and limited experiences he's had is simply mindblowing. i am really trying to get into a place where i can easily accept these exploratory statements of his just as that. he is going to toy with these ideas, try to imagine the power of life and death. it still makes me very sad to hear him talk through these imaginings. it makes me so sad to see him trying out violent power, hitting or kicking (though it is always controlled in some way, reigning himself in somewhat, but obviously trying to find out what it feels like to hit and hurt others). but it's natural, right? i'm beginning to warm up to the idea of getting him a little wooden sword. he wants one (saw it in a gorgeous little waldorf store). and i tell him that i'm thinking about it. which i totally am. he is going to explore it either way right? so why not show him that i love him and trust him enought to support his exploration? .........some of the stuff that has been occupying my mind lately."

so i am still working on accepting that he is working through this. i am loving reading kohn's unconditional parenting (though chris took off with it to seattle and now has read more than i have.)