Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H.L. Mencken
So if you've been reading my blog or spent anytime with Bowie, you will know that he is currently obsessed with swords. He has two* and is almost always holding one (he leaves it in the car at most public places, though). He talks about them all day. And makes any object of length a sword as well. He's SO into weapons. I think about this a lot, with sword poked at me, gun shooting at me. I make peace with it everyday. Because I can see that his soul is more pure than mine, that he does not need to be taught how to be good. I no longer confuse his talk about killing as any sign of his character. It is an exploration of some of the greatest issues of people and society. The other day he saw a flashing and noise making set of pirate sword and pistol. And he so, so wanted it. He sat in the aisle of the drugstore and pushed the activating buttons over and over again.
The sound is grating to my soul. It is so hard for me to hear it. But there is also a part of me that has grown to love his pretend play. He loves to dress up. He practices moving gracefully with his weapons. We have all started to engage in pretend fighting, which I could not have imagined myself doing or enjoying a year ago. And the night before we watched the new live action Peter Pan movie (which seems wonderfully faithful to the book, though we're only a couple of chapters into it). So the idea of introducing the pirate to our band of characters appealed to me.
As a photographer, I loved the idea of the images these would make. So I made a deal. I offered Bowie his first paying gig as my model. As he gets older I really look forward to our collaboration in photography. He knows that he can help me do something I really love. And we do things that he has fun doing. I have written about how photography is part of how I practice observant guidance in my parenting. But it also is part of the way I show reverence for Bowie. And it is part of my meditation in unconditional joy and love, which the unschooling philosophy has helped me experience more deeply by helping me shed so many fears. When I look at Bowie through the lens, I am seeing him so clearly and without distraction. When I look through these photos again to edit them, I see things I didn't notice before and I know more about my son and experience such a strong sense of gratitude. It repairs my pistol scratched soul.
*now three swords, one pistol, one fazer, and one lightsaber...on to star wars now, must make jedi cloaks
9 comments:
I got to your blog from your flickr page and have to admit i find it fascinating. Your life seems so full of adventure and wonderful experiences. Bowie is a gorgeous child and i love reading about the things you do and feeling the love you have for him. Ive heard about unschooling but not being a parent myself..yet at least..ive not read into it much. I dont think it is a common practice in the UK..as much as it is in USA etc,but it seems such a brilliant way to teach through the experiences in life.
Autumn - I know that to you these pictures of Bowie make your heart melt but I wanted to share what they mean to me - they scream childhood, everything good and beautiful about childhood. The excitment of all the wonderful adventures childhood brings. They are simply incredible. Like the poster above, I love reading of your life. I too am a homeschooler, teatering on the edge of unschooling with just a tad more tradition at times. It is a beautiful world to watch your children unfold before your eyes!
anyway, thanks for sharing, sara
Autumn, this is beautifully written. It is so sweet that you are compelled to share such vulnerabilities in this blog. We witness your growth as we witness Bowie's.
The photos are fantastic, as always.
I can't stop looking at that first picture. Can imagery be more perfect. He's so completely immersed and serious about his passion. I love it.
Hey, don't know you much on ovusoft, but encountered your blog somehow or other and am a loyal reader, I love the way you say things. My only complaint is that you don't post often enough, but that's very selfish of me ;)
just wanted to say hello and I still check your site here and there. I just joined flickr and I see you there also! I love your work and bowie is growing into a little boy...sooo darling and sooo phorogenic (did I spell that right)
Bree
oh, i just returned from a mother/son vacation of two weeks and a day...so tired. but how sweet and wonderful to return to these lovely comments. thank you all for visiting and i promise to post something soon and more often :)
Oh Autumn, these are so beautiful. We, too, have a pirate in the house.... I know your restraint in buying the weapons, because I struggled with it a bit too. But I love how his imagination is growing. So innocent and yet adventurous at the same time. I look forward to your next post!! Can't wait to see your vacation images! :)
this is my first visit to your blog... i followed the link from your flickr stream, and I just had to comment on how beautifully you write of parenting and your boy. I admire your abilities! And the photos are completely wonderful. The mindfulness you speak of in embracing your child's explorations is a perfect reminder for me. Thanks!
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