Thursday, May 10, 2007
A sword. This letter opener from Mexico is his sword. Every stick offers to be either a sword, a spear, or drumstick. Today he said, "I feel happy when I kill people with my sword." Gut wrenching. But I know it is in direct response to my opposite words about how I'd feel if I killed a person. So I didn't let myself go into fear and sadness when he said these things to me, when he said he was killing me with his sword. Because he never once touched me with his weapons. And seconds later his sword was magic and he'd bring me back to life. Years ago, months ago I would have been filled with fear that this exploration into weapons and violence had to be controlled or managed in some way. But now I am feeling such trust and compassion for him as he works through it. And that feels good.