The Sky is NOT Falling

Well, I tried to post from my phone at the Y yesterday but I see it didn't work. Yes, from the Y. Bowie went willingly and happily to school yesterday! You know how horrible and awful transition in birth can feel? But that means that you are almost done, the worst is over. I have seen that in our family life too. It's the surrender and trust that have gotten me through all of those hard times. And got me through this hard time too.

I let go of the idea that Bowie's going to school would be the solution to giving me time I needed for myself. I decided that if it didn't work out, we'd find another solution. Tuesday and Wednesday Bowie stayed at the YMCA nursery while I worked out. It wasn't the 3 hours long cardio, strength, sauna and shower I've been dreaming about but it was an hour on the elliptical walker reading and listening to my ipod. It helped immensely.

I also stopped talking up going to school. Barely mentioned it. I realized that it must have been coming across as a really big deal. Almost everyone he knew asked him about it, we were having conversations in an effort to prepare him, and I think that just made it feel like a really big deal. So I decided to try to minimize it.

We left the house on Thursday with other fun things to do on the way to school. We went to the library and had lunch together at a restaurant. I think this distracted him a bit and it was easier to move on when we were already on the move. He did say before we left the house, "I don't think today is really a good day for school." and I said that we weren't going there right now and that we'd see how he felt later. Not another word of concern or hesitation came.

And I think letting him say no was important. When there has been any element of pushing from us (sleep, potty, food...you know all those issues that are so easy to get into struggles), Bowie has resisted. Luckily we have been very conscious about stepping back and giving him his power back when we realized that we were pushing, and almost immediately we see him make great strides in those areas on his own. Trust. Trust. Trust.

I am sure that he will have other vulnerable days. But we got through the first week. I got clear about what I need, he saw how much I need it, we found ways to meet that need, and he did have fun at school in the end. Maybe he'll say he doesn't want to go again. I'm sure he will. But it won't feel like the sky is falling.